I didn’t understand all the rights of marriage until my partner of 18 years, died suddenly and I became the single mother of our eight year old son.
Legally, we had no say in what happened to her after death. and even had to get permission from her family to say goodby to her before she was cremated. Although her family had been supportive of us it still was humiliating.
Others have been less fortunate. Their dying partners had families that took total control and didn’t allow them in the hospital. They weren’t allowed to grant any dying last wishes or say goodby to the partner with whom they had shared their life. They were kicked out of their homes, excluded from memorials, and obituaries made no mention of any surviving partner who was left to grieve alone.
If we had married, our son would have gotten her social security , like the other children in our grief support groups.. Because we weren’t married, he wasn’t recognized as her son, although she was with him and loved him and supported him financially and emotionally every day for eight years.
Our son was very excited to hear about the court decision, and for us it was too late. However, it is not too late for all the other same sex couples to marry and have all the rights to which they are entitled.
1185 Solano Ave. #142
Albany, CA 94706