In this Issue
Simma Lieberman Associates
Simma specializes in diversity, gender communication, and
life/work balance and stress. She is nationally known as a
dynamic and humorous speaker, trainer, and consultant. She is
also the co-author of "Putting Diversity to Work," a guide for
managers on leveraging workplace diversity (Crisp Publications:
Fall 2003).
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In the News
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Welcome to the May edition of the Lieberman
Learning Letter, published by Simma Lieberman Associates.
This is a special issue focused on helping friends,
colleagues, and loved ones deal with loss. Simma recently
lost her life partner of 18 years and has been helping
their eight-year-old son to cope with their
loss.
Simma recently spoke at the World Research
Group Conference on Nursing, on the topic of "Recruiting
and Retaining a Diverse Nursing Staff." Some of the
strategies from her program are below to help individuals
in all industries leverage the diversity of today's
workforce.
This newsletter includes information from Simma's many
workshops, seminars, and keynote speeches. Simma shares
this useful information free of charge with colleagues and
clients to promote their continued learning and
growth.
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Helping Others Deal with Loss
Helping a loved one through a significant loss, be it the
death of a loved one, a divorce, the loss of a job, or a
change in health can be extremely difficult. Many people
get caught in awkward cliches ("Life goes on" or "You'll
get through this") because they lack the right words and
feel helpless seeing people they care about suffer. Learn
to effectively help your colleagues, employees and friends
deal with loss with these steps.
1. Be a good listener. This is one of the
most important things you can do. Help others feel safe
talking with you about what they are experiencing and
feeling. Listen for feeling in their tone, use of words,
and expressions. Let that person know that you are here to
do just that, listen. This can be very reassuring
for someone going through a significant loss.
2. Be patient. Bereavement of any kind is
consuming. It may be too hard to socialize, focus or
pretend that everything is ok. If you allow your friends,
colleagues or employees to go through the process with
patience they will be more productive and get through it
in a healthy way. It is appropriate for them to feel
deeply sad in these situations, which can be extremely
difficult to see in someone you care about. You may feel
like softly pushing them through the process by trying to
help them become productive or focus on other things.
These pushes, though well- intentioned, can be
counterproductive. If given the space, people will become
productive when they are emotionally ready.
3. Refrain from giving unsolicited advice. It is
natural to want to help fix the situation your friend or
colleague may be facing, but this is a tricky process. To
begin with, some things cannot be fixed, like the death of
a loved one or divorce. In addition, some advice may be
more harmful than helpful. While some people will feel
supported and empowered by friends expressing that they
believe "you'll get through it," "you are strong," or you
just need to "think positive," this can shut many people
down. When people don't feel strong or positive and are
being told that this is how they should act, they may
withdraw more to "hide" their true emotions, which won't
help them with the grieving process. Similarly, avoid
"tough love" approaches. These will only alienate the
individual. Allow them to grieve. Don't push your
spiritual path on others, even though you do it out of
love and concern. If the individual has a spiritual path
that is working for them, encourage it.
4. Help with the small things. During
bereavement, even small tasks like cooking meals or doing
laundry can seem like monumental challenges. You can
support a friend or colleague by making their daily life
easier. Bring over dinner, cook a meal for them, help with
childcare, or help fix things in their house or apartment.
Keep them company if they don't want to be alone. Act as a
sounding board. Send cards to help your friend feel
supported, or send them a certificate for a house cleaning
or other helpful service.
5. Ask how you can help. Every individual will
have somewhat different needs during these times. Make it
clear that you are dedicated and available to help as much
as you can. Make this offer often and strong (use "What do
you need right now?" instead of "Is there anything I can
do?") so your colleague or friend can easily take you up
on it. A sincere offer alone can help this individual feel
your support.
At some time you or someone you know will go
through a loss. It can include the death of a loved one,
divorce, death of a pet, loss of a job, or even the pain
of loss if your co-workers have been laid off. Different
types of loss might merit different degrees of action, but
no matter what the loss it's important to be a good
listener. People who are experiencing serious loss are
going through the grieving process which is different than
other experiences. If you are able to listen, give
emotional, time or material support and show some real
understanding you will help them get through this period
and they in turn will be able to help you when you are in
the same kind of need.
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Info »
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Dealing with Loss Yourself
If it is your loss, be easy on yourself. Know that is ok
to be deeply sad. Take time for yourself, seek out support
groups, supportive friends and /or supportive counseling.
Don't take inappropriate advice personally. Know that
people mean well, but also know that you don't have to
listen to them. Let them know what you do need from them
if they ask. Each loss is unique and no one knows exactly
how you are feeling except you. Seek out those who have
experienced similar losses and have recovered from them.
Ask them what steps they took and decide if that is
appropriate for you.
More Tips
& Articles »
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Recruitment and Retention of Diverse Candidates
If there is not enough diversity in your employee base or
there is high turnover with certain groups of employees,
your organization will not be able to leverage the power
of diversity. Building diversity in a company through
recruiting and retention is an important step to creating
an inclusive workplace. Are your recruiting efforts doing
the following? Here are some tips to help build diversity
in your organization through recruitment:
- Begin to recruit from middle and high schools.
Attend career days and come prepared to discuss the
benefits of working for your organization and your
industry.
- Identify stereotypes of people who work in your
industry and develop strategies for changing
perceptions i.e. Firefighting should only be a
male occupation.
- Use more inclusive language and visuals in
rule books, orientation, and recruiting materials.
- Create cross-cultural and cross gender mentoring
programs and provide training for mentors.
- Develop relationships with associations and
organizations that are geared toward underrepresented
groups.
- Be aware of your own biases and stereotypes and
their impact on the environment.
- Create processes to make people who are different
from you feel welcome and included in your organization.
- Mentor people who are from different cultural
or ethnic backgrounds or gender from you. It will help
you become more comfortable with other people and will
help your staff grow in their careers.
- Incorporate ideas from other cultures to solve
problems and be more innovative.
- Use resources that are already in place and research
what other organizations have done to be successful.
- Provide cross-cultural communication training to
help staff work better together and serve the client
population more effectively.
- Survey and interview staff across demographics
to determine their needs in order to create a strategic
plan for retention and increased recruitment under
represented populations.
- Examine your definition of leadership qualities to
include ways in which people who have different thought
processes and communication styles can lead. If you have
been hierarchical in the past, start learning that
people with consensus styles can also be effective
leaders.
- Conduct exit interviews and identify patterns and
themes if they exist.
- Be willing to change to accommodate and use new
ideas and creativity.
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Next Issue: Gender Communications!
In our next issue, Simma will look at how men and women
differ and how this affects how we communicate, lead, and
act in team situations. Learn to work better with the
opposite sex and improve your communication with
individuals in your personal and professional lives. Don't
miss it!
About this Newsletter
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